A very early career crisis

The last few weeks I feel like I've been exhausted non-stop. I think a lot of it is getting over a pair of illnesses that really wiped me out for most of January, as well as getting used to working a job that requires me to stand most of the day after a month or two of unemployment. I come home and I do my chore-like things and I read my bloggers and then... then I don't want to do anything else. I can't even imagine how I'll eventually build up the ability to do this with kids.

Anyway, I've been also quite emotionally down. I've been reading a lot of blogs of early-career female scientists with great fascination, seeing how they like their lives, or don't. I thought I was doing all right with all this new data; I thought through my career plan again and thought, okay, I can adjust to spending longer in a post-doc position I won't really necessarily enjoy than I expected, etc.

And then yesterday I kinda fell apart. I sobbed all over HG at the prospect of going 5-7 years between my one required teaching year next year (I'm on fellowship the rest of the time) and getting a teaching position after my postdoc(s). I wanted this degree so that I could teach. I like research, but doing only research I lose the spark eventually unless I'm also talking about chemistry--even if it's not about my research. When I'm teaching I remember what I love about my work and it really invigorates me.

As an undergrad I was a TA who convinced people to switch majors to chem or just put more effort into the course simply because, as they put it, they "like how much [I] love it." I get excited about chemistry. I'm passionate about teaching it both to the people who love it and to those who hate it, but will give it a shot when I'll help them along and am encouraging. (I couldn't actually pick which of those two I enjoy more. Both are good. Naturally those who refuse to put in effort are a downer, but very few are like that all the way through if there's someone consistently encouraging them, and those few, well, I don't take them personally. I've never been responsible for the content of a course, so maybe that will change. Maybe I won't like teaching as much then. But I do know that the idea of going that many years without teaching is terrifying to me.

HG suggests a few things, including:
-Trying, in the long run, to get tenure at a school where teaching is the focus, or at least where I could be rewarded for good teaching and not only for my research. (These places exist, right?)
-In the short term, trying to teach at the local CC.
-Teaching high school either long-term or short-term, where I can be near the front lines the battle to keep women from leaving (or, rather, not entering) the sciences.

Meanwhile I don't like the option of teaching high school, though I'd do it if I had to. This is going to come out badly, but--I want to show women who are interested in science a career they might be more likely to be interested in. It seems to me like more people go from "I want to teach high school" to "I want to teach high school science" than from "I want to be a scientist" to "I want to teach science to high schoolers." But that may just be my own prejudices--I have to admit that my own misgivings about going into such a criminally underpaid profession might not be present in some of the people I'd be reaching out to, and thus the "I want to be like my teacher!" instinct that gets a lot of people interested in a subject might actually turn out useful.

As for teaching at a CC here while enrolled in grad school... I'm not sure. I think I might get overcommitted very quickly. However, it does sound nicer than not teaching for what feels like a very very long time to a youngster like me. And on the bright side, if I find I really enjoy teaching at a CC, I suppose I could have a shot at just stopping my schooling after my MS, depending on what that market is like (I'm really not sure).

The long-term suggestion is, of course, my preference. It doesn't help me now, though!

Anyone have any advice? Am I doing the wrong thing--getting a PhD in chemistry--for what my passions are? I should stress that I really, really do enjoy my research. It's just not what I primarily want to do full-time in a career. I do believe that original research keeps teaching fresh, so I also wouldn't want to give it up entirely if I could help it, but I'd rather do all teaching than all research, if I had to choose. Thoughts?

Sigh. Maybe I need to quit reading so many blogs--sometimes it all just feels impossible, and I wonder why I'm even here.